At Her Door
by Arkhammaniac97
Summary: He shows up at her door. Wanting to knock and come back into her life, but he doesn't want to hurt her again. To bring up old wounds. But he loves her too much to just let her go.
1. Chapter 1

There I was. Standing outside of her apartment, contemplating whether or not I should knock on her door. It had been three months, one week, five days, four hours, sixteen minutes and twenty-seven seconds since she'd walked off my front porch in the pouring rain and yes, I had been keeping count. I had made a promise to her father that I would stay away from her, to keep her safe. I knew that it would hurt me, because I had loved her even before most boys were interested into girls. I would fantasize about what it would be like to be with her. How it would feel to hold her hand, to smell the aroma of her perfume, to kiss her soft, red, cherry-flavored lip gloss, and then I finally got my chance.

Elated would be an understatement to what I was feeling when she would go on a date with me. I was stuttering and fumbling with my words. I stared at the ceiling, at my shoes, ANYTHING to keep from looking into her dark, ivy-green eyes, because I knew I would lose all speaking ability once I did. But when she said yes and invited me to dinner with her at her apartment, it took all the self-control I had in my body to not start jumping and pumping my fists into the air.

Our date kind of got off to a rocky start. I learned that her father just so happened to be NYPD's police chief. That alone was intimidating enough, but I also found out that he wasn't Spider-Man's biggest fan. He saw him (aka me) as some vigilante who swung around the city beating up low-life thugs and petty thieves. Uh…I was trying to HELP you sir! I webbed up this guy who was trying to steal a car and the police tried to arrest me! That's just not right man! Anyway, every time her father said something derogatory about Spider-Man, I kindly told him that he was just trying to make New York City a safer place. This went on for a few minutes before Gwen intervened and suggested that we walk outside.

We walked out to a star-filled sky and the view we had from atop her apartment building was absolutely breathtaking. However, it couldn't hold a candle to the girl that was standing right beside me. My God, she looked absolutely gorgeous. I didn't think it was possible for her to get anymore beautiful, but she somehow managed to do just that. They way the moonlight shined on her creamy, white skin and how the light breeze blew her long, blonde hair made her look like a goddess. As I stood on that rooftop, I decided I would reveal to her my dirty little secret. That the man who her father was trying to take down and arrest was standing right in front of her. I couldn't find the words to say that wouldn't totally ruin the moment and I ended up just stuttering like the awkward fuck that I am. She started to turn and walk away, when without thinking, I shot a web at her waist, spun her around and pressed our lips together.

First off, that was the most AMAZING feeling I had ever experienced in my entire life. For years, I had dreamed of just holding her close to me and kissing her. Pressing her body against mine, my lips against hers, and now, here I was. She tasted like cherries and her lips felt like velvet pressed against mine. Even though it was my first real kiss, I could say without a doubt, it was the best one I'd ever had.

After she had figured out what had happened, she tried to say something before I told her to just shut up and kept kissing her. During this heated make-out session, her mother walked out and caught us. That was certainly a mood killer. As we all began to walk back inside, I heard the sound of sirens blaring through the city. Knowing that there was some sort of danger near, I quickly suited up and jumped off the roof. I left Gwen on the rooftop, headed towards whatever or whoever was causing trouble.

The weeks and months that followed were some of the happiest and most depressing moments of my life. After our awkward first date, Gwen and I continued to see each other and soon we were officially a couple. We spent nearly every free moment we had with each other and everything was going great, until that terrible October day. I had recently been trying to take down some kind of giant lizard freak when it attacked my school. I ended up following it into the sewers where I discovered that this lizard freak was actually Dr. Curt Connors. He had been a friend of my dad's and had worked with him about 10 years ago, before my parents ran away. Dr. Connors had developed a formula using lizard DNA to help him grow his arm that had been missing for a long time. It worked, but in the process, he ended up turning himself into a giant lizard mutant. He was going to attack Oscorp, where Gwen was developing a cure for everyone he had infected with this formula. While I was trying to prevent him from spreading his formula across the city, Gwen's father (who had learned my identity not long before) followed us up to the roof, where he ended up sacrificing himself while I dispensed the cure. Before he died, he made me make a promise to him. A promise I didn't want to make, let alone keep, for me to leave Gwen alone. He and I both knew that New York needed Spider-Man and we knew that he would make enemies. If my enemies were to find out my identity, it would put everyone I love into danger. I didn't want to make the promise, but I made it to him regardless. It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life.

Gwen's family had Captain Stacy's funeral a few days later. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to hold her and comfort her, but I couldn't. It broke my heart to have to leave Gwen to deal with her father's death alone. I was surprised when she showed up at my front door, asking me where the hell I had been. She told me that everyone showed up to her dad's funeral except the one person she wanted to show up: me.

She began to tear up as she poured all of her emotions onto me and I lost all control and began to tear up myself. Before she walked away, she asked me very bluntly, "He made you promise him, didn't he?" I didn't answer and just looked away, but I didn't have to answer. She already knew the truth, and nothing I could say would heal the hurt I had caused so I just said nothing. I watched her walk off my porch and I headed inside before I broke down on my front porch.

Now, here I was. All these months later, I was standing at her front door. I had stood there for what had seemed like hours. I contemplated whether I should knock. A part of me wanted to knock on the door and just fall on my knees and beg for her forgiveness, while another part wanted to just walk away. Let her just move on with her life, because I would just reopen old wounds. All these thoughts became overshadowed by the sound of me knocking on her door.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm so sorry that I have not updated this in so long. I didn't really have any ideas for how I wanted this to go for a while, and I recently finished my first semester of college and will be starting my second semester soon. With that in mind, I probably will not be writing much, if at all, for the next few months. If an idea comes to me, I may try to write what I can, but I'll be pretty busy for the foreseeable future. Anyway, enjoy this chapter. Also, I do not own Spider-Man.**

My heart began to beat at an alarming rate and my hands began twitching and sweating profusely. I just knocked on the door of the only woman I've ever loved…and the woman whose heart I had broken a few months earlier. As I heard footsteps from inside her apartment, I began to second-guess this decision.

_I shouldn't be doing this. Me being here will just reopen old wounds. I need to just leave._

My thoughts were interrupted as the door opened and there she was. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Gwen Stacy…

Her golden blonde hair, normally very well kept, was disheveled and uneven. Then again, it was 10:30 on a Tuesday night, so what should I have expected. She was wearing glasses that dilated her ivory green eyes, a black Mayday Parade t-shirt she bought when we saw them in concert several months back, grey sweatpants with "Class of 2015" on one of the legs and her toes were painted dark blue. Even in this state, which she would probably say is when she looks her worst, I still thought she was incredibly gorgeous.

"Oh…um…hi…" she said once she realized who was at her door. Gwen rarely ever got flustered, but I could tell she was surprised to see me.

"Hey…" I was able to spit out as a blush crept onto my face and I really began to second-guess coming here.

"Uh…I…um…well…well, is there any particular reason you're at my door this late at night?" she asked me.

"I was just…uh…um…in the neighborhood…and…just wanted to see how you were doing." I replied and cursed myself for not having a better excuse.

"Ah…well…okay then." she said.

Both of us just stood there in an awkward silence, neither really knowing what to say after almost no communication for the last three months.

"You know…th…this is stupid…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here." I finally said after what seemed like hours of us just staring at our feet.

"No no, it's okay!" She almost yelled at me as I began to turn around "You're already here so why don't you just come inside?"

"Um…are…are you sure? I mean I…I wouldn't want to intrude or anything."

"No, you aren't intruding, I promise." She reassured me.

I nodded and proceeded into her apartment. I saw that there were no lights in the house except for the one coming from the end of the hall, which I assumed was her bedroom and from the TV in the living room, which was broadcasting the local news and talking about how Spider-Man had saved a woman from a fire earlier that day.

"So…is your mom not home?" I asked noticing how quiet it was in the apartment.

"Yeah, she and my brothers are visiting my aunt in New Jersey." She responded almost immediately.

I gave her a courteous nod and again we stood there in awkward silence. After sometime, she decided to speak up.

"Peter…tell me the truth…why did you come here?"

I was stunned by this. Not just from the shock of the question, but also because I didn't really know why I had decided to come.

"Why did you come here? You went months without answering any of my texts or calls and anytime I would see you at school, you wouldn't even look me in the eye."

At this point she began to tear up and her voice started to rise and I felt like a deer caught in the headlights. I was just waiting for what was coming to hit me.

"DAMMIT PETER! I KNOW YOU MADE A PROMISE TO MY DAD. BUT WHY WOULD YOU JUST ABANDON ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU? YOU'VE SAID THAT YOU LOVE ME A THOUSAND TIMES, BUT MY FATHER DIES AND I GET MESSAGES FROM EVERYONE THAT I DIDN'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS ABOUT, BUT THE ONE GUY I WANTED TO JUST HOLD ME AND COMFORT ME WASN'T THERE WHEN I NEEDED HIM. WHY? WHY DID YOU PROMISE HIM?"

Each word felt like a dagger was digging deeper into my chest and the more she said, the more I began to hate myself more than I already did.

"I don't know…I never meant to hurt you Gwen. I just knew that this city needed Spider-Man and I would never be able to forgive myself if anything were to happen to you. I just wanted to protect you."

By now, there were tears rolling down both of our faces as we just let out all of our emotions that had been built up over the last few months.

"And I promise you Gwen…" I said to her as I took her hands into mine "I can't change what I've done in the past, but I swear, if you give me the opportunity, I will spend every waking moment I have trying to make it up to you. I do love you with all my heart Gwen Stacy."

She then placed her head against my chest and started sobbing uncontrollably. I held her for the next hour before I realize she had fallen asleep. I quickly and quietly picked her up in my arms and carried her into her room. After I tucked her into her bed, I shut off her lights and left her apartment and started making my way home. I knew that our situation wouldn't change overnight and that it would be a long time before I would gain her trust again, but I'd be damned if I wouldn't try my hardest to win her back. No matter what it would cost me.


End file.
